Sunday, October 16, 2011

Time

There are a couple of things that scare me now-a-days. Here is a quick list of things that make me poop myself on site:

-Spiders
-Death
-Bullets
-unfrozen Popsicles
-heights
-certain kind of dogs
-Mordor
-organized government
-fire
-A Random Mel Gibson Attack
-Youth

Yes, Youth. There is nothing scarier than youth; they creep up behind you and once you notice they are there then it is too late. Kind of like walking through life, turning the corner just to see the Twilight Zone guy, and knowing some crazy shit is going to go down.

Why does today's youth scare me? Because they are just so stupid and when they come into power things are going to be worse, Mad Max worse but with cooler mohawks. Sure our parent's generation has done some idiotic things: Watergate, Wars, Spandex; and sure our generation has continued that trend of moronic acts: More Wars, The financial collapse, the Kardashians; but this new generation is going to reach a whole new level of doofis-ness (yes, I just created a word on how dumb they are).

First, they don't read. To their argument, why read? Why read when you have endless amounts of channels on Television, when I can see a race between two blind dwarfs and an obese conjoined twins?? Why read and know about the great art the has inspired and moved generations past depressions and into ideological eras? When this generation does read its books by Chelsea Handler and Snookie (are you fucking kidding me? Snookie? people are willing to read a book by a fat herpes filled twinkie than someone like Mark Twain or Jane Austin). Wow, what a generation they are going to be when their greatest author got crabs while being drunk in a hot tub.

Second, Tattoos. Now let there one thing be clear, I have nothing against tattoos. They are a great way to express ones motivation or to have a memorial for a loved one. They are great in moderation. Key word is moderation. I love Lord of the Rings but in Moderation because if I loved them without moderation then I would be a virgin who eats Cheetos all day long instead of a guy who got lucky once and eats Cheetos all day long. Now if you have more tattoos than shirt covering your body there is something wrong here. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously, heck even your kids to listen to you. "Where did you learn that kind of behavior?" "I don't know dad, from that half naked chick holding a sword riding a tiger". See my point? Want to be different? Don't get a tattoo, everyone has them now-a-days

Third, narcissism. My generation is the best, plain and simple. USA!USA!USA! - there is never a wrong time to start a USA! Chant.

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