Jokes That Didn't Make it to Stage (Part 3)

Here is are a new list of jokes that were funny but not funny enough to make it to stage.

Is it me or do the automatic paper towel dispensers sound like robot screams?

When you wash your hands do you ever worry that same one is going to walk in and think that you've just planned to take over the world.

I over react in traffic when people cut me off. I'm like "OH smooth, real smooth! let me see this jerk! He better pray for no red lights because i will beat... oh crap he's black, don't make eye contact."

The Muse

Hearts feels like it melts, dripping away,
The Sky, the air, nothing seems to be in focus.
Haunted by blissful memories of the past,
Wishing for what I know I can never have.
Eyes piercing, actually seeing inside,
You were the only one I was absolutely real with,
Quicksand of uncertainty cements my stance.
Dreams tease me,
The Muse fuels me for what I want.